Have you already thanked God for the failure?
 Homage to Arvo Pärt
ARVO PART center  Estonia 2022

33세에 Credo ( 사도신경 ) 을 작곡한 후 Arvo Part는 나라로부터 검열을 받고 그 후 7년동안 침묵의 시간을 갖는다.
어느날, 수도원 정원에서 작곡을 하던 그에게 한 소녀가 다가왔다.
"무얼 하고 있나요?" 
"작곡을 하고 있단다." 
"잘 되고 있나요?"
"아니 잘 안되는구나 " 
그는 작곡이 잘 되지 않는 심정을 짤막하게 소녀에게 토로했다.

소녀가 천진난만 하게 물었다.
"지금까지의 실패에 대해 주님께 감사했나요?"
"Have you already thanked God for the failure" 

나 역시, 나의 모든 실패에 대해 주님께 감사드린다.

Dear Arvo Part, thank you for your beautiful music. 


Have you already thanked God for the failure?

Arvo Pärt asks in the summer of 1975. Now that I have reached the very age of Arvo Pärt during that summer, I find myself ruminating upon the same question: have I thanked God for the failure? And Have I repented?

Pärt once said, we shouldn’t grieve because of writing little and poorly, but because we pray little and poorly. Without worship, sin becomes all-engrossing, overwhelming our ability to grapple with existence. But by taking his words into consideration, I slowly came to recognize my consuming grief as the consequence of absent prayer, rather than of my art itself.

Whenever I listen to the musical compositions of Arvo Part, I am buried by a profound sense of stillness, a particular feeling my soul is not accustomed to. I revel in this emptiness, as it resembles the same vacancy of the very chapel depicted in the online archives of Arvo Part. Truly, I want to become one with the vacuity of these arrangements, and to embrace the light seeping into the sacred capacity of the chapel.

The subjects of my past artwork had yielded their traumas to me, rather than submitting to God himself. I wish to repent for the failures of my artwork. But by occupying my soul with the paramount spirituality of emptiness, I truly believe that I can relinquish these temporal attachments.